Episode 26 - Pure Discipline Duo - Rich & Toni Soto - Fit, Faithful, and Still Married at 63: The Sotos Share Their Blueprint

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to the Dr. Random podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah, and here's the deal. We don't do boxes here. Every episode is different. Every conversation has its own flavor, and no topic is off limits. If you're looking for predictable, this isn't it. But if you want real conversations, honest takes, and a touch of intellect in the best way, you're in the right place. This is Dr. Random Podcast. All right. Hello, and welcome to the Dr. Random Podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah, and today I am just. I don't know, I'm so excited because I have Rich and Tony Soto on the show, and I've known Toni since. Oh, my goodness. Well, she's known me since I was a little baby. [00:00:53] Speaker B: Since you were born. [00:00:55] Speaker A: Since I was born, that's right. Well, you want to. Yeah, we'll, we'll go into that if you want to tell the audience that little story. I know. It's so cute whenever you tell it, the story of as a baby. [00:01:09] Speaker B: Well, yeah, I. First of all, I knew your mom. Of course, she was just your mom and dad, and they were newlyweds. They lived across the street from us. And I used to clean house for your mom for a dollar an hour back in the 70s. But it wasn't about the money. It was about spending time with her. She was super awesome. I still love her so much. She's an amazing woman. And then she got pregnant with you, and she just taught me about motherhood. And then when you were born, I, I, I just fell in love with you, and you're the first baby I ever fell in love with, and I love babies. So you're very special to me. Your whole family is. [00:01:48] Speaker A: Oh, thank you. You guys are very special to us. So, so Rich and Tony Soto, they have been just, you guys know, I look up to them and adore, like, their marriage. They've been married for 37 years, and I just love that. It's, to me, it's amazing. And, and so I'm just gonna kind of introduce both of them to the audience, you know, but what we're really going to talk about, too, is Rich's career and the police force and all of that. And so, Rich, if you kind of want to go in and talk about, you know, an introduction for the audience listening about your history. [00:02:31] Speaker C: Sure. I joined the law enforcement in 1998, and I guess a little bit of a backstory on that is I had no desire to, to go into law enforcement at all. We had a young family then. We had three kids, and they were all under maybe seven years old. So I think there was seven, five and three, or maybe younger, I don't remember. It was in 1998. So I transitioned from being a truck driver and I just felt I needed to bring in more money for my family because it wasn't quite enough to support because Tony's always been a stay at home mom. So with that said, a little backstory on me, I actually dropped out of high school. Wasn't the best kid in high school. Got into a lot of things I probably shouldn't have. Fortunately, I really didn't get caught though. So I had no criminal record. So that being said, I ended up going back and taking my GED when I had three little kids and her at home. And because I knew I needed to develop myself to better myself to get in this law enforcement career. So one of the guys that I worked with at the trucking company, he went into Stockton PD and I asked him, how are you doing this? Because he seemed like an ordinary guy and he just kind of laid it out for me and he told me what I would need. So I went on the path to get my GED and then started applying at different sheriff's departments, such as, like Alameda County Sheriff's Office, Contra Costa Sheriff's Office, and then Stockton Police Department. So eventually I got picked up at Alameda County Sheriff's Office in Dublin. And their program paid you to go through the academy? And that's what I needed. I needed an income to continue to support my family. So that's kind of how I started. They paid me a. A decent wage, enough to get by through the six month academy. And that's how my career started as a Alameda County Sheriff's deputy. I was about 34, I think. 34 when I got started. [00:04:43] Speaker A: Okay. Wow. Yeah, that's. I love hearing that story and your background and all of that. And then you also, you know, it sounds like with the law enforcement career, like you said, you did the PD and then the SWAT team. Right. So with the law enforcement career, you started with Alameda, am I correct? Is it right? [00:05:08] Speaker C: Well, it's, it's a little confusing because I started with Alameda County Sheriff's Office. [00:05:12] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:13] Speaker C: But I ended up one of the guys that I worked with, one of the deputies, he transitioned over to the city of Alameda. There's a city in Alameda county called the city of Alameda, two different departments. So I had to completely reapply re. Go through the background and all the process to get hired. So I transitioned from the sheriff's department. After working there for about three years, I worked in the jails and did adult detention and I learned a lot and a lot of stories there. But I transitioned over to the city of Alameda and then that's where I started as a patrol officer and it kind of continued my journey with the city of Alameda. [00:05:57] Speaker A: Okay, and what would you say is something that people are maybe often surprised to learn about a retired police officer who's also deep into weightlifting and content creation and jiu jitsu. [00:06:15] Speaker C: So one, I get labeled as a police officer probably because of the bald head and a certain look and a demeanor when we're out and about. It's, you know, quite often I figured you're in law enforcement and I think after that many years you carry yourself a certain way. I think I was that way before law enforcement and it just kind of did it a little more to me, whereas a little bit more serious, a little bit not trusting right away when you meet someone. And I think people pick up on those demeanors and just the way you carry yourself. So I don't think people are surprised that I'm retired police. I think it's normal for them. And I think the second part of your question, was it regarding the weightlifting or the. [00:07:05] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:07:06] Speaker C: So the bodybuilding and powerlifting training journey started at age 15. [00:07:13] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:14] Speaker C: And I have never stopped. I've never taken more than maybe two weeks off doing an injury. So I'm now just hit 63 years old. So as you could. That's 40, 40 something years of constant training. So that was, that came first. That was my first love as a 15 year old kid. And that is what actually propelled me through the rest of life, to be honest. The discipline. When I started training, that carried on into the police work, it carried on into jiu jitsu, it carried on into my marriage. Just being committed. [00:07:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:54] Speaker C: To a purpose. [00:07:56] Speaker A: That's. Yeah. And I know that's one thing I see both of you guys doing is a lot of weightlifting. And that's, you know, something that I've kind of. I guess it's funny because I was just thinking about it as you were talking. I've actually had three personal trainers. Now that I think about it. I thought I maybe only had two, but I've actually had three. I recently had one this last year again. And it's kind of because, you know, with all my education and all that, I just didn't have time to concentrate on my fitness. So I'm back into it again, you know, it's amazing because I don't know, I think once you're like, you have it in you like the whole time. It's like you almost get like. Like I got it. Like you almost have like this ick and you don't get in the gym or you don't go to yoga or you, you know, it's like this, I call it like the ick or something. [00:08:45] Speaker C: So it needs to be a non negotiable part of your life. And we've often referred to it as we don't ask ourself or plan out eating our breakfast or brushing our teeth or showering. It's just part of what we do. So basically have a cup of coffee, wake up a little bit and we know we're going. So unless we're on vacation, we know we're going. It's kind of like it's part of our routine. And I think if someone can make it part of their routine, whether it's in the morning or after they get off work or during their lunch break, routine is what it takes. And they say that a habit will start after 30 days. Kind of believe that. So you can only imagine what it's like. I would be lost if we quit working out. I mean, something I've done for 40 something years. But I know a lot of people that have started the journey only five years and they are so committed now because of the habit that it's formed in them. So I think for folks that are trying to get into a fitness routine, it's establishing that habit where you're going to go whether you like it or not, whether you feel good or not. But you will feel good, I guarantee it after you're done, even if you didn't feel like going. Yeah. So, yeah, it's just a little bit of advice as far as how to get started on a routine and consistently be on that routine and consistently schedule time that you're not going to train. Like, we just don't train on Saturdays and Sundays. [00:10:15] Speaker B: Which is funny because I woke up this morning, it's Saturday and I was getting ready to go to the gym. Like, oh, it's Saturday. I don't go to the gym on Saturday. So that's how much of a habit it is. It's so natural for us to just get up and go. So I went for a walk instead. But yeah, it's just such a. It's literally a habit and a hobby and it's a healthy one. So we love it. [00:10:34] Speaker A: Mm. Yeah. And you know, kind of going back to the, you know, career as a police officer. You were also a field training officer, swat. What you, what would you say was the most demanding or physically, mentally in those roles? [00:10:56] Speaker C: Oh, that's a good question. So I think it was after about five years of being a patrol officer, that's kind of what's happening should be required because then you have a pretty good working knowledge of all the different criminal activity and all the different situations you're going to get involved in. Most of them just kind of repeat themselves with a little bit different variety. So they like to see a police officer that's been on the streets for about five years, not always, but usually. And then your next step is you can apply to be a field training officer. And what that entails is now you're going to take a new officer that comes to the department that's never been on the streets, and now you're going to teach them how to write reports, how to drive to a, a hot call, emergency call, the things to pay attention to as you're going to the call. So when you become a field training officer, what you do is you, you refine your own skills because as you know, is as much education as you have, when you go to teach a subject, you become better at it actually. Yeah, you just become better because you have to know what you're talking about. So it forces you to almost become a better version of yourself. So the field training officer was demanding, I would say, because you're taking people that have no clue and some of them have no life experience, which is tough. The guys that came in with life experience and when I say life experience lived a little bit rougher life, was exposed to some things on the streets a little bit more. They usually adapted better than maybe someone that just at 18, they went to college, university for four years, came out, wanted to be a police officer. The head knowledge was great. However, it's that life experience, the interaction with people, social skills that need to be developed actually on the streets. So I think that was challenging. I guess that's, there's so many different parts of your question. So from patrol office, from, from field training officer, the next step normally is to progress to promotion to where you are supervising other police officers, other field training officers. So it's just kind of like another level. [00:13:17] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, that's interesting. I've never, I, I feel like a lot of people know the surface level of the police force. You know, we don't know the inner workings of everything. So that's, that's cool information and Then as far as like the transition into leadership, would you say? Because, I mean, you know, you were supervising the, the Marine patrol unit, is that correct? [00:13:44] Speaker C: Right. So, yes, you're right. So, Sarah, what happened is before you get to supervise those roles, you have to test and go through a whole other process within your department to gain the trust of the leadership to become a leader. So you have to tell, you have to do written tests to demonstrate your knowledge of all the laws and the procedures and all the workings of the police department. And then you have to once again use your social skills to do your oral interviews with lieutenants and captains, hiring management who are then going to decide, are you ready to go out and now supervise other police officers, other dispatchers. There's a lot of people underneath you when you become a patrol supervisor. So with that being said, the transition is difficult because you're working with a group of guys that you work with for several years. Sometimes you've been in intense situations, kicking indoors, rescuing women from domestic violence, showing up on calls where you know there's a little baby that's dying from sids, and having so a lot of stressful situations that bring you together almost as a of family in a sense. And then you're at a friendship level with them. And then all of a sudden now you're their supervisor and now you have to oversee their work and take responsibility for it and sometimes critique it and sometimes ask, demand, require that they improve upon their work or they do it a different way. That doesn't go over well when you are on a level playing field and now you've been elevated above them and you have to take that responsibility. So that was a tough transition. Some people were okay with it, Some friendships were lost because it's a hard transition. Yeah. [00:15:47] Speaker A: Yeah. So that sounds like the biggest challenge probably of the whole thing, dealing with that. Yeah, more a big challenge of it. [00:15:55] Speaker C: Right. So going from, from patrol officer, even field training officer to patrol sergeant is a, that's, that's a whole different step there. But then once you become a patrol sergeant, and then you have all these other programs that need to be supervised. So to go back to your original question, and I'm sorry, it's kind of long winded, now they have a Marine patrol unit, they have defensive tactics units, they have SWAT units, they have all these different units and they need someone, first line supervisors to supervise all the guys that are in those. So that's kind of how that came along is once I was promoted, when I saw the opportunity to expand my knowledge and to kind of keep growing and making more money, because you end up making more money the more that, you know, the more you increase your value to any company or any city or county, when you increase your value, that's when you increase your income level. So that's kind of how that played out. And yeah, I ran the Marine patrol unit out on the San Francisco Bay and in the estuary between Oakland and Alameda. And that was probably one of my best. My best gigs in law enforcement. Get out there to ride on the boat, being paid overtime, making like a thousand bucks a day before my shift even starts, just out on the boat on the bay. And we would make our stops and we would do our enforcement. But overall, it was a very fun experience. Yeah, it was good. [00:17:37] Speaker A: Sounds like it's out of a movie or something. Yeah, I just picture, you know, like one of those, you know, that's what it sounds like. [00:17:45] Speaker B: You had to, like, make your clothes into, like, a thing where you float in the water. [00:17:50] Speaker C: Well, every. Every position. Every position, every. Every team that I got involved with, there was requirements in more schooling and more knowledge. So, like, on part of the Marine patrol, we. That was probably the toughest course that I ever took because we. They shipped us down to LA and. And then we had to. Out of Long beach and we had to navigate during the nighttime hours using just the radar. We had to use a lot of math, which I'm not great in, but a lot of math to do the compass and the waypoints and all these other technical procedures. And that was probably one of my toughest schools for two weeks. And in that school, what Tony was referring to, they taught you how to rip, take your pants off, tie a knot in each leg of the end of your pants, and then move them up and down and get air in it. And it works as a life preserver. So you tie it and hold it because the. The legs, you take your pants off where your ankles would be, you tie knots in them, and then your waist area, you kind of move it up and down a little bit. And then when it hits the water, the air pushes up into the pants and it works as a life preserver. Yeah. So a lot of interesting little things that they teach you through these courses, but that was the most challenging Marine boat patrol out of Long Beach. That was definitely the hardest class to go through. And SWAT was. SWAT was hard too. [00:19:30] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would think so. Yeah. I had doctor. Previous guest, Dr. Kathleen Pattoni. She's a retired army colonel. I'm not sure if you Guys caught that one. And she's, I guess, the head of swat. Oh, right now I'm gonna mess up the state. It's either. I think it's Iowa or Ohio. You guys might. [00:19:50] Speaker C: Yeah, they're very similar. [00:19:52] Speaker A: But yeah, she. I mean, you know, she's the trained psychiatrist for the swat. So I was like, wow. Yeah, that was an interesting. Like. And. But, yeah, hardcore stuff. And I remember in my education with Pepperdine, too, I actually. One of my professors was a SWAT negotiator, I think they called it, or hosted hostage negotiator. [00:20:14] Speaker C: Right, right. [00:20:15] Speaker A: And so that was interesting, some of the stories they would tell. [00:20:19] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm sure he had some good stories. [00:20:22] Speaker A: Yeah. And, you know, I think when I hear of what you're talking about with the Marine Boat Patrol, I almost think, like, this is just a guess because I'm not knowledgeable on this, but I would almost guess. Is that a lot to do with drugs and, like, human trafficking? I'm guessing those two. [00:20:40] Speaker C: Or that's. Yes, it can. We were basically tasked with just getting out in the water and checking. You have to have a reason to board a boat. So we would look for expired registration. A boat that, you know. Or we do like a routine life jacket check. And then when we talk to the people, if they seem like they were under the influence of drugs or. And so we'd have to take it one step at a time. But part of the Marine Patrol enforcement could include trafficking. But it really wasn't an issue for us. At least the time that I supervised it, it was more of methamphetamine on. Out on those boats. [00:21:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:21:22] Speaker C: And. And just theft of boats. Oh, people that were stealing the boats out of the Oakland Estuary and then living. Then living on them. Like the homeless population. Some of them would steal the boats out of the harbor and then basically peel off the stickers and the registration and try and live on them out there. [00:21:43] Speaker A: Huh. [00:21:44] Speaker C: Because a lot of people have their boats out there, Sarah, and they never go out to them. [00:21:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:47] Speaker C: So by the time they report them stolen, they may have been out in the water there for, like, you know, six, seven, eight months. [00:21:54] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. I think of like, you know, in Stockton, Bob's at the marina. All the boats. [00:21:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:59] Speaker A: Some of you see the same one sitting there all the time. [00:22:02] Speaker C: Some people just forget about them and they kind of leave. [00:22:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:06] Speaker A: Do they have. I wonder, do they have squatter laws with boats? Like, in homes, like, if they. [00:22:11] Speaker C: Yeah. Where they claim it and then you can't kick them out. Yeah. I Don't think so. Because they would be just straight up theft at that point. [00:22:17] Speaker A: Okay. [00:22:18] Speaker C: We'd find them a home in jail. [00:22:20] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. [00:22:26] Speaker C: We feed them, too. [00:22:29] Speaker B: That's true. That's. That's nice. [00:22:34] Speaker A: And kind of looking back across your entire career, what habits or mindsets from the job still show up and how you train and live today, what mindset. [00:22:46] Speaker C: So I don't trust people on face value. I kind of. When I walk. How can I. When I walk into a room, I usually will assess what's around. I'm very aware of my surroundings. I guess that's the easiest way to say. Very aware of my surroundings. I like to sit with my back away from the door. I like to see if someone's coming in, like a threat in a restaurant. So I like to. I don't usually like to have my back toward where people are entering a restaurant or a business. If I'm sitting there, because I want to be able to get a jump and see what's happening, I think. Law enforcement. I have been retired now for nine years. However, I'm still an investigator with a county out here in Idaho. So I do background investigations and some employee investigations. So for the most part, I'm pretty well removed now. And I've basically brought down the intensity of everything, which is nice. Much more relaxed now, being completely out of that. But I think what I carry though, with me is always being aware of my surroundings. I think that's the biggest one. [00:24:03] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. That's interesting. And, you know, I kind of remember stuff with my dad, too, growing up, which isn't police, law enforcement, but, you know, military. [00:24:15] Speaker C: Yes. [00:24:15] Speaker A: Like, I remember there was this crazy story. If you guys have any crazy stories you want to share that are interesting for the audience. But I remember my sister. My mom was like, oh, I think we smell gas. Or like, they thought they smelled gas. My dad was like, everybody get in the car and leave the house. And he was like, everybody get in the car. I'll see you guys at church. They were like, what? And he's like, leave. I gotta check premises. And so that was kind of an interesting story. They said that he made everybody leave and then he was gonna check out the house or something, right? [00:24:47] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:24:50] Speaker A: Most people would be like, oh, gas. Like, we'll figure it out. My dad was like, get out of the house. [00:24:57] Speaker C: Yeah. He was sensitive to your safety, which is good. [00:25:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:01] Speaker A: Yeah. And do you guys, like, what would. Is there. Tony, Rich, anything on this topic you guys want to add before we move on? To some other topics that you guys are. [00:25:18] Speaker C: Well, the only thing to add for your audience, any young police officers going through this. So the rate of marriage, the rate of divorce in this career is probably over 50%. I'd have to re google it to see where they're at now. So most of the guys that I know all divorce multiple times. There may be only a couple that I've known that are still married. So it claims marriages because one, it makes you a little bit more rigid and a little bit more bias. It makes you a little bit more scarred, makes you harder, makes you look at humanity a little different. You see the. Basically you spend 20 years looking at the worst side of humanity. You go to people's worst day in their life. So when you think about it, when you go to call 91 1, it's probably that person's worst day of their life, whether it's a suspect or the victim. And you have to learn how to process that and how to get home each day in one piece. And some of that is very. Gets ingrained in you, the rigidness. So going through law enforcement, I was already a rigid person. So I became even more rigid. So it was a challenge for a marriage in that like 20 year mark, 18 year mark to where I became very hard and harder than what I was. And I think that is challenging to. I did separate my police work from my, my, my home life. However, I didn't, I didn't separate my rigidness. Like in other words, I didn't hang out with cops on off duty. I didn't, I didn't, you know, do a lot of extra stuff. I didn't talk about it, but it just was something I carried with me probably that everything was a black and white issue. So if my kids stepped out of line, it was black and white issue. Tony's completely opposite. So then the struggle of trying to raise kids, when I would say, no, they can't do that because I'm going to work, I'm seeing what's happening to these kids. You know, I mean, I see what happens when they run away. I see what happens when they talk back over and over. I see what happens when they hang out with the wrong people. And then there was just no room for a gray area with me. It was like, no, this is why they shouldn't do it. I know you just. She will admit it to this day. She's softer and she's more empathetic. And my empathy just kind of. I'm not saying it vanished completely, but when it Came down to looking out for their best interests. Empathy was way down on the list, and keeping you safe and raising you the right way was up top. But that. That was hard between the both of us. Looking back, we had a very, very hard time surviving that, in which I'm glad we did. We got through it with the grace of God and we moved on. But it's not easy. And that. That takes discipline, you know, commitment. And that goes back to maybe my. My just. I don't like to quit. I don't like to quit. And I know that that's not everyone's story, and I know everyone has a different story, but for me, I didn't want to quit on them. I didn't want to be married multiple times. I wanted to be married once. So with both of our commitments, we were able to pull through that. And I'm really glad we did because we have a great life. But that's what I. That's the last thing I'd want to add with the law enforcement. Don't try not to let it suck you in, because it can, depending on what type of personality you have. But I've seen the damage that it causes to. Even some of the guys that I see now that post things on their Facebook, they're like, do that. These confessions, almost like I was a. This. I was a certain kind of person and I realized it. And. And some of these guys, you know, in that nine to ten year away from law enforcement, they have like this revelation that I, you know, I had. I was a different person. And. And so I get it in a way, but like, that one person that I'm kind of. I don't want to say any names, but once again, it claimed his marriage. You know what I mean? So it's just real. It's really what happens. I know multiple people, so just an encouragement. If you're going to go through law enforcement, you need to be super cognizant of, can I keep this marriage together? Because ultimately, I know guys that have been through two or three, and the pension they would have had is, you know, everyone gets a piece of it and they're not living their best life. Nobody's living their best life, to be honest. [00:30:08] Speaker B: And I'd like to add. I'd like to add to that, if I may. The shift work is really hard, too. [00:30:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:30:15] Speaker B: So he would be working swing shift, and I'd, you know, be home with the kids, and they were in their teenage years, and those were rough times, and he'd be gone for holidays you know, I mean, it's, it's, it's a sacrifice that law officers have to go through and it's, that's why I'm glad they get a pension because they really sacrificed their, their lives, missing out on children's, you know, activities and things. He was really good about trying to schedule time off to like, see like, you know, like our son's wrestling meets or, you know, soccer game or whatever. But it was really hard on our marriage. It's lonely as a wife to have your husband gone, you know, four nights a week, sometimes more, you know, so I would say that's also a struggle. But we got through it, you know, and we're grateful for that because now we're, you know, living our best life. But those were hard times. But you have to be, like you said, have that commitment in your marriage, like if, if, if, if, if a guy wants to be a cop or a girl, whatever, and the, the, the spouse has to have that commitment and together they need to fight for their marriage and get through it because it's not better on the other side. Yeah, but, you know, people sometimes think it is and then they're sorry because like you said, they don't have a pension and broken marriages and kids in all different places. And so, so yeah, we fought for it and, you know, God helped us through it all and we're really grateful for that. [00:31:39] Speaker A: It's amazing. Yeah. And I mentioned, you know, you guys were going to be on the podcast to my friend who's in intelligence, like military, and I mentioned, you know, that your career and how you guys have a 37 year marriage. She goes, wow. She goes, that's rare. That's the first thing she said. So what you guys are saying is so true. How it affects. Yeah, so. So, you know, you guys are amazing. So I think a lot of people when they listen to this are gonna look up to you guys. So you know that, like I do. [00:32:10] Speaker B: We hope we're encouraging because it is possible. It's just two people that refuse to give up on each other. And I'm grateful that he didn't want to give up on me and I didn't want to give up on him even during those harder times. And they weren't easy, you know, but. But now it's great. [00:32:25] Speaker A: Yeah. See your guys, trips and travels and all that. [00:32:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:30] Speaker A: Get into all that in a little bit too. But yeah. [00:32:32] Speaker B: Okay. [00:32:33] Speaker A: You guys just look like it's amazing. So. And do you guys both do jiu jitsu or just you? No, no, okay. [00:32:46] Speaker C: No, she's. She's, you know, so. No, I started in, and I think we discussed it earlier. I. The only reason I started is I was coaching a little bit of my son's wrestling and in the early days, and I had done wrestling when I was in high school. So anyway, I had a surgery. I had two carpal tunnel surgeries on my hands while I was in the police, when I was on the SWAT team. And so they covered it at work on workman's comp. But they gave me, like, an incredible amount of time for recovery. So when my second hand was recovering, I was like, well, I've got all this extra time now. Maybe I'll just take up this jiu jitsu, see what it's all about. Had no intentions of sticking with it for 10 years. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:34] Speaker C: But when I started training, it just kind of went hand in hand. What I did out in the streets, you know, I end up rolling around with people trying to handcuff them. So I said, well, this. This might help. So. So, yeah, I started that journey in when I was 42. So I started at 42, which is considered kind of old to do that. Not really old, but it's older. And then I stuck with it for 10 years, and I had no idea. It just kept going from. Jiu jitsu is one of the hardest martial arts. To obtain a black belt, it takes a lot of commitment and time. So I had no idea. Whatever happened, I actually wasn't in it for that. I got to a point where it became a habit and I enjoyed it. And then it just kind of happened toward the end, and I was like, well, what do I. What do I need to do? I was at that last belt, and that's when half Gracie out of the San Francisco Bay Area, I was. I was training at one of his satellite schools. He basically told the instructor, well, they need to get up here and train with my Brazilian guys, and I need to evaluate them and see if they're ready. So I was like, oh, boy, now I gotta drive two hours to San Francisco before I start my swing shift at work. So it was a long. There were long days. I always had long days. But because I worked swing shift, kids were in school. She was working part time. I just utilized my time. And I always say, everyone has 24 hours in a day. It depends what we do with it. I didn't have any more hours in the day. I just slept very little and stayed busy. But that's how that jiu jitsu whole career came to Be. And that was probably one of the highlights of my life, to receive a black belt from. From a Gracie, because they don't give them away. They don't. [00:35:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:29] Speaker C: I think. Well, I have video of it, but when I finally got promoted, part of their ritual, and I don't know if you know this or not, it's not a thing anymore. It's starting to go away. But they make you get whipped with the belts on the back without anything on your back. And I think our particular school had, like, 60 guys there that day. And so they make, like a tunnel, and you got to walk through them and take the welts on your back two times. You got to go through it twice. [00:35:59] Speaker B: Oh. So I had to watch that. That was not easy to watch. He was running through with his covering his face, and they're just whipping them and whipping them. It was horrible. [00:36:10] Speaker C: Yeah, they don't do it hardly anymore. That's kind of what they would call old school. [00:36:17] Speaker A: Okay. [00:36:18] Speaker C: Half racy, black belt. [00:36:20] Speaker A: All right. [00:36:21] Speaker C: Initiation. So, yeah, to go through all that. And I think I was 52, 53. [00:36:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:31] Speaker C: That was iconic for me. It's like, man, I did it. And then I trained for a couple more years after that, and I kind of kind of said, what's. And I retired. And then I came out here to Idaho, trained with the guys out here that I didn't really know. So the people that I did train with in San Francisco Bay Area, I knew it was more of a family. Cause we trained so many years together, so it just. I never really felt connected here. So then I was 54, 55. I'm like, there's really no point anymore. I got my black belt. I know how to defend myself, and I just went on to, like, doing mountain biking and other stuff. [00:37:10] Speaker A: Cool. [00:37:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Are you guys familiar? Do you watch ufc? Are you guys into ufc, or do you. Yeah, Jiu jitsu with the ufc. Are they considered different? [00:37:21] Speaker C: It's a blend. Yeah. So, yeah, it's all called, like, mixed martial arts now. So jiu jitsu became popular back when UFC started, back in the 90s. I could be wrong. It could be the 80s, so don't quote me on that one. Late 80s, early 90s. And that's where jiu jitsu kind of came to the. To the American soil. And when one of the Gracies fought in one of the first ufcs, when I think it was, like, Ken Shamrock and some of the other guys. So to be honest, that's kind of what sparked my interest, because they talked about how this guy weighed 180 pounds and he was able to go against these big guys. There was no weight class back then, so. And he was winning. So I said, wow, that must be. That must be a legitimate form of martial arts. So that's kind of what sparked my interest. We watch UFC a little bit, but we're not big into it. [00:38:15] Speaker A: Okay. [00:38:16] Speaker C: Yeah. It's not a big part of our life at all. [00:38:18] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. I don't know if you guys know, but you know, Laura, my little sister, her husband is cousins with Nick and Nate Diaz. [00:38:33] Speaker C: They are phenomenal. They've made a great career. [00:38:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:36] Speaker C: For themselves. [00:38:37] Speaker B: Watch them. [00:38:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. So Laura's husband's cousins with him. Yeah. [00:38:43] Speaker B: That's really cool. [00:38:44] Speaker A: Yeah. And so now I kind of want to talk about, you know, your guys's weightlifting and how it's a central part of your lives. I know we talked about it a little bit, but how would you say, basically, I don't know, let's go into pure discipline duo and your YouTube channel. And I caught some of it, and it looks great. So both of you guys are, you know, into that. But it sounds like some injuries, plateaus, mental barriers that forced you to rethink how you train. Would you say that's accurate information and how you work through them? Which I think we talked about a little bit, because you said that when you had the ham injury, you were doing the jiu jitsu. And then, I don't know. I guess my question is basically, what's one piece of training advice you give to someone, either of you, who's starting out later in life or coming out of a high stress career, with incorporating weightlifting. [00:39:52] Speaker C: Okay, so first I want to address that. Tony's the content creator. I have zero social media. [00:39:58] Speaker B: Well, he's on it, though. [00:39:59] Speaker C: I'm on it. But she. I think she enjoyed because I still am trying to do max lifting. I'm still trying to better myself. Even at 63. I'm not slowing down. I'm not slowing down at all. So. And Tony's always concerned about me getting injured, and when I do, I just kind of transition and do something else for a little while. So she's the content creator. I just get to star in it sometimes, but. So it's her idea. [00:40:29] Speaker B: He's like the star. It's just a little mouse doing my thing. You're the star. [00:40:34] Speaker C: It's all her idea. So friend's idea. [00:40:38] Speaker B: Wasn't my idea. We had friends at the gym that told us if you get a YouTube channel, you get A lot of followers, and you should, because you guys are older and you're a real fit and everything. They said you. You probably could make some money on the side. So I'm like, well, that would be fun. So, yeah, it's fun for us. It's a hobby. It's our passion. We love working out. So it just kind of fell easy into a regular transition of just, let's try this. And so, yeah, that's where it's at. So we. I think we have 100 followers right now in. In four weeks. So we're happy about that. [00:41:08] Speaker A: That is good. No, that's good. [00:41:10] Speaker C: So I think it stems, Sarah, from a lot of people that we friends and strangers would come up to us and ask us what you do. So then that's where we kind of talk about, maybe we could just put it out there, what we did. [00:41:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:24] Speaker C: To help educate people and give them an idea on a platform. So that's kind of how that evolved, I think. [00:41:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. So just, we just, we, we. We love what we do. Working out is a hobby. It's a passion for both of us. We've both been doing it since we were teens. I was 14 when I started Jazzercise, and then. But I didn't start really bodybuilding and lifting weights until my last. My last child was born, Vanessa, and I was 30 at that time. And that's when he taught me at the gym how to actually lift weights. And then I started to see muscle definition, and I was like, oh, I like that. That's really awesome. And that. [00:42:07] Speaker A: That was my. [00:42:08] Speaker B: That was it. That was my motivation. I never stopped. It's like, like, I always just want to see how much better I can get my physique to be. I never want to quit because it's just. You can really transform your body with diet and lifting weights. You really can. And a lot of people don't have that discipline. And that's why we're called the discipline duo, because it takes discipline. Like he said earlier, you can't. You don't wake up and go, well, do I feel like going to the gym today? Or, oh, should I go have breakfast with my friends? Or whatever? You say, no, this is what I'm going to do, you know, Know, you pick five days a week, and you just go and you hit it hard. And then when you get home the rest of the day, which is 24, 23 hours of the rest of the day, then you have to be disciplined with your diet and what you eat. And so that's Part of how we've transformed our bodies to where we are. So we're really happy with it. We feel energized, and we could play with our grandchildren, go on trips and not be fatigued. And so we just have lots of energy. And, like, I appreciate how he looks, you know, for an old guy, he looks really good, and I think he appreciates too. [00:43:13] Speaker A: So. Yeah, [00:43:17] Speaker C: absolutely. [00:43:18] Speaker B: So that's. That's the thing about that. But we, we like our channel and we're hoping to inspire people and help people out and. And there has been people that have asked questions and we've been trying to help them out. So hopefully we can do that. [00:43:30] Speaker A: Yeah, I know I saw one of the videos where you guys talk about, like, pre workout, after workout, all that creatine. I think I saw you guys doing that, like during, like during your workout or before. Correct. That's a proper way for creatine. Yeah. Because that's how I've been doing it. [00:43:52] Speaker C: So. [00:43:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:52] Speaker A: And I've been taking creatine for a while actually, and I feel like it's kind of trending right now, which is funny. I noticed a lot of things are kind of trending that I'm like, okay, I've been doing this for a while and I'm sure you guys have, as you know. [00:44:06] Speaker C: Yeah. So creatine has been. I've been using that for probably over 10 years. So things that trend now, I guess they just kind of go full circle. It was a big deal back then, and they did more studies recently that said it's good for your brain. Also for elderly, for people that are getting older. So it's good for their brain and it's good for your muscles and for recovery. So the creatine is good. And you're right, it's probably trending because people start talking about it more so it becomes popular again. It's no different than peptides. Peptides were around in 2010. Well, probably before that, but that's when I was first exposed to him in 2010. And now I can't have a conversation. We can have a conversation with anyone. Everyone's talking without their talking. [00:44:57] Speaker B: Yeah, that's true. [00:44:59] Speaker A: Do you guys use peptides? [00:45:02] Speaker C: So right now. Yeah, right now. I sustained a mountain bike injury on my. So my ankle got pretty almost broken. So I'm hopping right now, hopping around the house. But I use peptides to heal my bicep tear back in 2011 when I was up for promotion and they were going to pass me over and because I did it training Jiu Jitsu. I had to get back to work as soon as I. As soon as possible. So I used peptides to increase my healing and I actually healed my arm. Normally the injury is a 10 to 12 month injury. And I was back to work in I think three and a half months. So I kind of came a believer in it back then and never touched him again until recently because my neighbor started a business. And then I said, what's your thoughts on it? Is it helping people? He goes, yeah, it is, Rich. So once I destroyed my ankle a couple weeks ago, I reached out to him. So I've been using the BPC157 and another peptide called TB500. And just recently I'm going to start taking the GKC. Yes, thank you. I get, I get the letters, the acronyms all messed up, but yeah, so I just started that today because that's another. I'm doing all this for wound healing, I mean, to be fully transparent. Also, I did get on testosterone therapy when I was 58 years old. Came in with a low test, a low test blood test of testosterone somewhere in the three hundreds. And then I got prescribed it at 58. So I use about 100 to 125 milligrams of testosterone per week, which has been a. I think it's changed. It's allowed me to continue to work out as hard as when I was like 35 or 40. So it's been a game changer as far as being able to continue to train hard. So those are kind of the supplements and we use of course, the whey protein that you've seen in the videos, the creatine. And then really the key has been with Tony developing the way we're eating. We decided. She did a lot of research. We both do eating a biblically based diet, natural foods, unprocessed foods. And that has been huge with no inflammatory problems. [00:47:36] Speaker A: Okay. [00:47:37] Speaker C: Super low body fat. It's just been incredible. So I know it sounds strange, but a lot of people ask me, I say the biblically based food. I guess you could say the Mediterranean, modified Mediterranean diet in a way. Super helpful. [00:47:55] Speaker A: Yeah. So Tony, do you do any peptides or. [00:48:02] Speaker B: No, no, no. [00:48:04] Speaker A: Okay. [00:48:05] Speaker B: I do take some Testosterone and. [00:48:07] Speaker A: Okay. [00:48:08] Speaker B: HRT too, because I'm 61. So I, I have a. It's a. It's a compound cream that some. My doctor prescribed it. It's just 0.5%. This is a cream. You. You rub it on your skin each day. [00:48:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:22] Speaker B: Because I was like, zero testosterone. And I I. That's not good for anyone. So. So, yeah, so between. Between the testosterone, the HRT and just eating healthy and. And sometimes I go into a calorie deficit to get more lean, you know, for bikini weather. And so that's kind of. That's kind of like what I like to do. It's part of how I challenge myself. You know, I like to challenge myself to see how lean I can get and then, you know, just really, really hitting that gym as hard as possible. And so it's worked well for me. [00:48:56] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm always like, blown away. Like, I want to look like her when I'm. [00:49:03] Speaker B: Oh, thank you. [00:49:07] Speaker A: Yeah, you look amazing. Both of you guys do. And you know, I. It's interesting topic of peptides hormones stuff because I think that it's been kind of like women were like, surprised. Wait, I need testosterone? It's like not a known thing, but it's actually really helpful for a woman. And hopefully it'll become more known and people won't like, kind of do it what a woman. Which is, you know what I mean? But it's something that, you know, I learned recently, within the last year, so. Because it helps with what your energy, brain function, skin, hair. There's so many benefits to it as a woman. [00:49:44] Speaker B: Yes. [00:49:45] Speaker A: And. Yeah. And God's amazing too, how he creates our body and how everything is so balanced. Everything. [00:49:51] Speaker B: And that's why we're. When he talks about biblical food. Like, I did a whole research on what. What is required to have our bodies be at peak performance. And so we. I literally made a diet out of that. I created breakfast, lunch and dinner and snack for those exact. For us to be at optimal condition. And I made a list on my phone. I went to the grocery store. We bought all the ingredients. And then at first it was like, whoa, you know, and then. Then we got used to it and now that. And it's silly what we do, but we literally eat the same thing every single day. We just change the protein at dinner time. Like chicken, you know, a lean steak. Well, not even lean. He likes his. What is it? Ribeye. And then I like the top sirloin. And then we do a lean burger. And then we have our other. The vegetables. And all the stuff that I add to it is for our optimal performance. And so. And we both, you know, we have. I put it on our. On our YouTube channel what we eat in a day because someone was. A lot of people ask that question, but we really actually like. It tastes delicious. It. We're satisfied and, you know, we. I don't eat after dinner. Sometimes he'll make a protein ice cream, but. And then, you know, it just. It just really. When you're sleeping at night, that's when your body is rebuilding. And that's. It's good to just be fasted and not eat right before bed. So that just kind of really worked well for me. It's just really changing our physiques by this diet. And we're also just putting in such good ingredients into our bodies so that we can fight, you know, aging and health problems. You know, you know, even Alzheimer's is some of it. And heart health. There's just so many good things about our diet. And yeah, it's all created by God. The things that we're eating, because they're whole foods that. It's created by him, so it's. He knows what he's doing. We. So why would we try to guess that? And people want to buy all the processed, you know, protein bars and all that stuff. It's. We don't even go down when we go grocery shopping. We literally go in a. All around. Outside the outside the in. We don't even go on the inside aisles. [00:52:02] Speaker A: Literally. [00:52:03] Speaker B: I rarely do. We ever, ever go. We literally just go all on the outside. [00:52:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:08] Speaker B: Except for cat food. We have to go in the middle for that because we have two cats. [00:52:14] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I've been eating where it's like. But I take. I have my greens, you know, that I put in my water. So I put in like amino. Aminos and put in aminos my grains and then my creatine in my water when I'm working out. Yeah. And then I'll. Normally, before I go to the gym, like this morning, I had toast with like butter, cinnamon sugar, and banana. But I don't know. [00:52:41] Speaker B: Butter, you said on your toast. [00:52:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:44] Speaker B: That's okay. [00:52:45] Speaker A: Butter. I probably shouldn't do the sugar. I should probably. Because I did cinnamon and sugar. I probably should cut off the sugar. [00:52:52] Speaker C: Yeah. Cut the sugar. And a little tip that she told me is we. I switched over to what's called Ezekiel bread. [00:53:01] Speaker A: Oh. [00:53:02] Speaker C: And that's more of a biblically based bread. Totally not process. All the other stuff, unfortunately, the Dave's wonder bread and all this other stuff, that's health grains. They. They've got it on YouTube. They've got studies on this. It's garbage if they have in that stuff. [00:53:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:53:18] Speaker C: And it's inflammatory, so I switched out because I'm one that likes bread, too. But so the only bread that I eat now is the Ezekiel bread. And you can get it off like Amazon, but it comes in frozen. You got to keep it frozen, otherwise it's going to go rotten and moldy because there's no preservatives. [00:53:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:53:36] Speaker C: But transitioning to that was a huge game because I had two pieces this morning with a little bit of butter. So I don't. We're not. We're strict. We're not that strict. We're just making sure we're eating the right things and staying away from the processed foods. [00:53:53] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah. I've cut out all, like, I, you know, I love my salami and, like, yeah, prosciutto, but I don't do that anymore. And I'm not eating pork anymore. [00:54:03] Speaker C: Right. [00:54:04] Speaker A: That's more of a decision I've made. Just because of the, like, parasites in pork. [00:54:08] Speaker C: Sure. [00:54:09] Speaker A: Same with. And I like pork. Nothing against the pork industry. The parasites in it and the whole, like, stuff with the farm salmon, I stay away from. I don't do any farmed fish. That's just disgusting. And it's actually really bad for our environment, too. Yeah, it's, like, horrible. Oh, great. I'm gonna get. Like, People are gonna listen because that's farming salmon. People are gonna hate on me. But, yeah, so I try to. I do a lot of, like, I don't know, I like salmon burgers, chicken. [00:54:42] Speaker C: So one tip. That is one crucial tip. And maybe it's not crucial, but I think it is. We are. We allow ourselves to eat whatever we want once a week, and we know that if, hey, we're going to eat good all six days. And sometimes it's not rigid. Maybe it's. Maybe it's Friday night and Saturday night. But you see, it's not all day. Like, in other words, I don't eat crap all day Friday and crap all day Saturday and say, it's my cheat day. I'll eat the way I normally eat. And then we'll go out to dinner on a Friday, and we're not looking at the menu saying, oh, that's too fattening. That's too much sugar, that we'll eat whatever we want. I mean, we'll have dessert. We'll do whatever we want. [00:55:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:24] Speaker C: And I think that mentally has helped in the beginning of this strict journey. Like, we can eat whatever we want. It's on Friday and Saturday. [00:55:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:34] Speaker C: Maybe one, maybe both. So I think allowing yourself to say, oh, I never can eat that again. Like, if you like salami and you like certain things, you say, okay, I Could have it. I'll have it once a week, right? [00:55:47] Speaker B: You totally should do that, Sarah. Yeah. Yeah, because you don't want to deprive yourself to where you hate, you know, your lifestyle. Like, we love our lifestyle. We, we, we, we found foods that we love that are good for us. We eat them. We don't have to. I already calculated the macros, so I know where I'm at. So I don't have to every day go, oh, let me see, let me calculate them. I just have it calculated in and then I just repeat it over and over. [00:56:11] Speaker A: But I like it. [00:56:12] Speaker B: I look forward to it all. And then we look forward to our cheat night, which is tonight after this podcast. We're totally looking forward to it. And I don't feel deprived at all. And then we go on vacation. We eat and drink whatever we want to. [00:56:25] Speaker C: We go for a week long, all inclusive. There's no guilt. We eat whatever we want. We, we go ahead and indulge in alcoholic drinks. We do whatever we decide we want to do. And there's no guilt. At first there was some guilt if we went into vacation, like super ripped and in shape. And then we finally figured out after being home two days, maybe three, back on the same diet, where we look at the scale, we're like, we're right back where we were. [00:56:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:54] Speaker C: So the body remembers. The body's a remarkable machine. It's what you do 90% of the time, which dictates. [00:57:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:57:04] Speaker C: And unfortunately, a lot of people get that kind of out of whack. You know, they'll eat good 30 of the time and they don't understand what's happening. But it's just kind of. Our bodies are amazing like that. They. We've done this experiment. We do travel a lot. Multiple times. [00:57:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:21] Speaker C: And she's. Oh, I'm gonna be. How am I ever gonna get rid? Two or three days? She's like, oh, it's crazy. I'm back to 104, 105. It's just like, wow. [00:57:30] Speaker B: So that's crazy. [00:57:33] Speaker A: Yeah. So everybody listening. They're pure discipline duo on YouTube and, you know, go follow. [00:57:40] Speaker B: Yeah, thank you. [00:57:42] Speaker A: And yeah, that's. That's all great advice. I'm gonna be listening to this for a while. Like a repeat. And what would you guys say? How has the creating content. You've been doing it now for four weeks. [00:57:55] Speaker B: You said four weeks. [00:57:57] Speaker A: How would you say that's maybe change your approach in your own training or has it like sparked anything? Or you're just kind of like, Doing your thing and all off. [00:58:06] Speaker B: Just doing our thing. We're just doing our thing. The only difference is we're recording it sometimes. Like, normally I don't record myself at the gym and he doesn't record himself. Although sometimes when he does a pr, it's fun to do a recording because, you know, he likes to challenge himself. And so I'll record that, but normally I'll just put that on my Instagram and I feel like. I feel like my Instagram, on my fix Facebook account, people don't really care that much about my. My fitness journey. They're just kind of like. They just know me because they're either family or friends and they probably get sick of it, to be honest. So I like that I have a YouTube channel now because I feel like it's all about that and it's. If anyone's on there, they're on there because they want to know about fitness and they're not on there for anything else. So it's like. So it's almost like gives me a reason to do it. So. So that's the only difference, I think, is having the YouTube channel is just. It's fun to create videos and teach people and help people. It does take time, though. I was surprised how much because I'm learning how to. I don't really know that much about techie stuff, you know, technology, so I. It's like just, you know, doing the videos and trying to edit them and I don't know. [00:59:12] Speaker A: Yeah, it takes. Yeah. [00:59:13] Speaker B: Too much time. [00:59:14] Speaker C: So. [00:59:14] Speaker B: Yeah. But maybe I'll. Maybe I'll get smarter at that. [00:59:18] Speaker A: You? Yeah, More practice. Yeah, kind of like with my podcast too, you know, it takes more time than I think people realize when you're always wanting to constantly post and stuff. [00:59:27] Speaker B: It takes time. [00:59:28] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. [00:59:29] Speaker A: Yeah. And I was gonna. Oh, so are you guys gonna make an Instagram page for puritans? [00:59:36] Speaker C: Probably not. [00:59:37] Speaker A: No. Okay. [00:59:38] Speaker C: I don't know. We haven't discussed it, but probably not. I mean, we. I think, to be honest, we're doing it to be able to push some information out. Not necessarily for money making or anything like that. [00:59:51] Speaker B: I'm doing it for money. [00:59:52] Speaker C: She wants. [00:59:53] Speaker B: She. [00:59:53] Speaker C: She would like to. She would like to make a couple [00:59:56] Speaker B: bucks, but I mean, if I had more money, I could share it with people like my daughters, you know? [01:00:01] Speaker A: Yeah, that's my. [01:00:03] Speaker B: Speaking of my grandkids, I want to share it with them, so. [01:00:06] Speaker A: Yes. [01:00:06] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:00:06] Speaker B: So, you know, everybody should join and follow us so that my kids and grandkids can have more Stuff from us because I love giving them presents. [01:00:16] Speaker C: So we do it for fun. Sarah. I just. [01:00:19] Speaker A: Awesome. [01:00:20] Speaker B: It's our passion. We working out in our passion. [01:00:23] Speaker A: Well, that's perfect because it leads right into your fitness and marriage. And I actually if you guys for the audience. So how did you guys first connect in we. Which I think we kind of went over already a little bit. But a little reminder how you guys. Matt. [01:00:39] Speaker C: I'll let her tell the story. [01:00:41] Speaker B: He likes the story because he's like. He gets to be the special guy. Because I was just 14 in high school, Santa Clara High, and he was two years older than me. And he. I just saw him and I thought he was it. And like, dude, that guy is it. You know, he was so handsome and cute. [01:01:01] Speaker C: I had hair back then. [01:01:02] Speaker B: He had a lot of hair back then. He's still cute. But, yeah. So anyway, I had a crush on him, and he didn't really have a crush on me because he thought I was too innocent and young for him. Because he's. He was a bad boy back then. [01:01:17] Speaker A: Okay. [01:01:18] Speaker B: And I've all. I've always been innocent. [01:01:20] Speaker C: Yes. [01:01:21] Speaker B: Innocent. So, yeah, 114. So I should be innocent, I hope, you know. But anyway, I. So I had a crush on him and we never. He walked me home from a baseball game once. I even had a boyfriend back then. But I went with him anyway because he was paying attention to me and we kissed and that was. But that was it. He still was being a bad boy and I was still being a good girl, so nothing ever happened. And then what year was that? [01:01:50] Speaker C: Around 1979. [01:01:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:01:53] Speaker C: Okay. So 1979. [01:01:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:01:55] Speaker A: Okay. [01:01:56] Speaker B: And so. So then. Then years went by and we both did our own different things and went through stuff in life and very difficult things in life. And we both found the Lord separately. We both became Christians, not knowing each other or anything, but just. We both became Christians. And at one point, I prayed for. Because I was going through a rough time in my life. I prayed for a good guy in my life because I had a bad guy in my life. And I thought, you know, lord, just give me somebody good that treats me right. That'll be a loving, devoted person to me and just be good. And I believe that this is the one that. That God had for me because we're so aligned and so perfect together. And we ran into each other just in a bar when I was 22. When you were 24, I think. [01:02:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:52] Speaker B: And we hit it off in the bar, danced all night. He doesn't even like to dance. But he did that night because he was trying to win me over, because then he was liking me because he wasn't a bad guy anymore. He's like, I'm a good guy now, right? [01:03:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:03:06] Speaker B: That's why, if he was still a bad guy, he still wouldn't have talked to me. So. Because he turned his life around, he felt like he was worthy of being with me, which is really sweet, and I appreciate that, because maybe would have. Would have had a lot of bad stuff happen if we would have got together at a younger age. [01:03:21] Speaker C: So. [01:03:22] Speaker B: So. So God put us together. It was my prayer, I believe, and his will, and that's how we ended up together. [01:03:28] Speaker A: How. [01:03:29] Speaker C: How old are you then? [01:03:30] Speaker B: 22. [01:03:31] Speaker C: She was 22. I was 24. [01:03:33] Speaker A: Okay. [01:03:33] Speaker B: And we. We literally were unseparable from that night. He. He came over, went to Santa Cruz, went to the beach. The very next day, he asked me on a date. And we. We. He came over after that, and. And every night. Every night. Every night. And then we just. We went to Hawaii, and he asked me to marry him. And Here we are, 37 years, September 9th. Yeah. [01:03:58] Speaker A: Well, congratulations. [01:03:59] Speaker B: Thank you. [01:04:01] Speaker A: Yeah. I love that faith is playing a role in that, too, and I have probably a core that keeps it strong, you know? [01:04:10] Speaker B: Yes. [01:04:11] Speaker A: I'm always still praying. I'm like, God, prepare me and prepare him so that when we come together, it's just. [01:04:18] Speaker B: He definitely wants that, for sure. Yeah. [01:04:23] Speaker A: And so I guess I was gonna kind of ask. It sounds like, you know, is there anything else in your marriage you guys want to share with the audience that you feel like would maybe, I don't know, maybe encourage people listening or. You have anything you want to share? [01:04:47] Speaker B: Your turn to talk? [01:04:48] Speaker C: My turn? Yeah. Well, it's. It's not easy, so I don't want to sit here and mislead people. We had our struggles, so. But we worked through them, and I think that God was gracious, and we both gave each other grace to get through that. So I would never sit up here and say, oh, I've been married 37 years, and I've been the best husband, because this stuff's not true. So I think that we both had grace and forgiveness for each other, and I think that. And a willingness not to quit on each other. And I do understand and do have empathy, believe it or not, for people if they're in a marriage and one's quitting and the other one doesn't want to. Sorry. It ain't gonna. It's not gonna stay together. Because both you, you know, I mean, I don't care how bad one person wants it, unless both people come to that realization, this is the person I want, you know what I mean? [01:05:51] Speaker A: Through. [01:05:51] Speaker C: Through good, bad and indifferent. Whatever happens, I think that's what it takes. So I think that we're super grateful that God opened both of our eyes and gave us clarity to see what there was. Because like Tony had already said, you could always think it's going to be greener on the other side, you know, But I always heard that the grass is greener, and I've always heard that, you know, well, that that grass is going to need to be fertilized in, mowed too, just like the one you're walking away from. So. And it's going to have its own set of problems because human beings are flawed people. And, you know, if you want to run into one that's perfect, well, you're going to mess them up, because you're not. So either way, you know, you have to. Two people have to want to keep it together and continue to work at it even as you grow old. And if you have differences and being able to explain yourself and. And why you're feeling a certain way and having that your partner reciprocate and just understand each other. So it's not easy all the time, but for the most part, it has been a very easy marriage, I would have to say, just had a couple speed bumps, which most people that we talked to that have been married a long time said, yeah, that doesn't happen. That's shocking because life is very unpredictable and two different people living their lives together is not easy. It has been easy. I'm not gonna say it's not. It just depends, I guess. Things come up, though. Trials come up. We've been through some really bad stuff, and just like anyone else, so we're not different. You know, family members dying and seeing cancer attack. And these are all things that. That us as human beings, all. We all have things that we deal with. But being able to share those sorrows and those. Those tough times with someone that's going to be there for you, I think it's just really important. And because that's all I would want to add, is that it? [01:08:07] Speaker B: You know, I think one of the most important things that married people can have is respect for each other, really showing respect. I don't. I don't see that a lot in marriages. And he loves respect, and I know that, so. And. But you know what? I do, too. I wouldn't think That I do. But yeah, it matters. It matters when you respect each other in everything. And I think that that's, I think respect and commitment are the two number one things I would say are imperative to being married and having a long lasting marriage. [01:08:42] Speaker A: Okay. And would you guys say that kind of plays into protecting your time and energy with each other throughout the marriage? Because that's one thing I feel like I pick up from you guys is I would think this is just from an outside perspective of looking at your travels and stuff. It looks like, you know, you guys do kind of like. I feel like you protect your time together. It seems like that's probably sacred and precious to you guys from what I'm seeing with your time together. And you know, I don't know, would you say that that's probably goes into your, even your weightlifting and training, sticking to that and then making sure you guys probably protect your time and energy with each other, for each other. But yeah. [01:09:27] Speaker C: Do you want to discuss that about how you, you've talked about it before how you in. We rarely ever take vacations with other couples. We, we like. No, we like to be, we like to be together. We, we enjoy each other's company. We enjoy other couples company. [01:09:49] Speaker A: Okay. [01:09:49] Speaker C: Probably for shorter durations. I don't know if that sounds funny or not, but I mean, so we like each other's company and I think there's a disconnect that's going to happen if each person's going on separate vacations or always with other couples to where their attention isn't really focused on each other. [01:10:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I think that's weird, to be honest. I've seen that a lot and I'm kind of like. Yeah, I think that's open for trouble, to be honest. [01:10:25] Speaker C: Yes. [01:10:26] Speaker B: Yes. [01:10:27] Speaker C: Well, you're right. [01:10:28] Speaker B: The thing is, is that we actually like to be together. We, we have such fun together. You know, we can be ourselves together. When you're around other people and I do love my friends and our couple friends and we have a good time when we go out with them, but not all the time. Maybe once a month or something. Otherwise it's always us. And because, because we, we can just be ourselves, be silly, have fun, you know, and relax and not put on when you're with other people. You have to like, you have to have that energy up to like constantly [01:10:54] Speaker C: engaged, engage, constantly engaging. [01:10:56] Speaker B: And we engage, but we don't have to engage. We could just enjoy the food, you know, if we're out to dinner or whatever. But I don't know I just. And then on vacation, we don't want to follow other people's plans. Like, we like to just do what we want to do. And if you're with another couple and they're like, well, let's go do this, let's go do that, and we're like. And then if you don't do it, then they get mad or they're not happy. And so. But where we are. So we like to do exactly the same thing. It's just weird. The only thing I liked you is his extreme sports. Sports. I won't do that. [01:11:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:11:22] Speaker B: But everything else we love to do together, I won't. I don't like to do the snow, snowboarding or mountain biking down a hill and, you know, I'll ride my bike on the green belt, you know, nice and slow. But our bodybuilding, that's one thing. Our passion is the same. We love to go to the gym. We don't always work out together, but [01:11:41] Speaker C: most of the time. [01:11:42] Speaker B: But I mean, we're there at the same time. [01:11:43] Speaker C: We don't work out together. Yeah. So most of the time we're there at the same time. Yeah, but she does her thing, I do mine. [01:11:50] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [01:11:51] Speaker B: We just have a different way of training. He trains, you know, just heavier. I mean, I tried to go heavy, [01:11:57] Speaker C: but it's just different. It's just different type of training. [01:12:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I could see that. Because it's like. Yeah, because it's like if, like I think, like, okay, if I meet a guy and we're going to the gym together, I think I'd feel weird if he wanted to always be right there so that I, like, you guys do that. Because then it's like, okay. Yeah, it's okay. Because it's like, you know, he does his thing, I do mine more. We're at the gym at the same time. Yeah. [01:12:20] Speaker C: We have also found that the gym has become not a super social place for us, but because we're there all the time, you establish surface relationships. Like when I say surface, I mean just, you know, you get to know people by name or you'll, you know, have a brief, you know, one minute conversation, maybe two if it goes a little bit longer. So we also find that there's some type of community involved in working out at the same gym, same time, which is kind of nice too, I think. And as you get older and you get removed from the workforce, they said it's important to still have, like, we do go to church also, so there's a community there that we're Involved in, but having more than just one active community that you're involved in. Now, when I say community, I use the word loosely. Just people that, you know, may come across. [01:13:15] Speaker A: Yeah. I love the gym I have here in Charleston, actually. I would say that I had a gym in San Diego that I used to go to in the mornings before I worked for this one law firm in downtown San Diego that had a good, like, group and everybody. But, like, this gym here in Charleston is called Ethos, and I really like it. [01:13:35] Speaker C: Etho. [01:13:36] Speaker A: Ethos. [01:13:37] Speaker C: How long have you been in Charleston, though? [01:13:40] Speaker A: I have been in Charleston since October of 2024. [01:13:44] Speaker C: Oh, you've been there a while. I was. I was believing you're in San Diego still. [01:13:49] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [01:13:51] Speaker B: You do a lot of traveling too. Weren't you in Paris? And all kinds of cool places. Ice. [01:13:56] Speaker A: Yes. And the amazing opportunities that that was all through, like, studying abroad with my education, so it was nice. Paris, technically, wasn't. I decided to do that after I was in Italy for two months and stopped on the way home because I was like, you know what? I'm over here. Like, I might as well. So I did eight days. That was. That was kind of a big deal for me. I did eight days by myself in Paris. [01:14:23] Speaker B: Wow. [01:14:23] Speaker A: So, yes. [01:14:25] Speaker C: If you live. You were living in Italy for two months. Did you learn how to speak the language, or did you just use Google Translate? Yeah. You did a little bit. [01:14:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:14:33] Speaker C: Okay, cool. [01:14:34] Speaker B: You. [01:14:34] Speaker A: Yeah. You get good even with the French. I practiced a lot. [01:14:37] Speaker C: Nice. [01:14:38] Speaker A: Before I went. And you kind of have to. In Paris, you kind of want to go and, like, learn conversation before you go to Paris, Italy. They're a little more relaxed, but not really. I think it's just polite. I mean, it'd be like if we were here in America and somebody start. And you'd be like, what? [01:14:54] Speaker C: Right. [01:14:55] Speaker A: Yeah, Right as. You know. So. [01:14:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:14:58] Speaker A: But that was amazing. And talk about walking in Florence. My. My steps, my miles off the charts. [01:15:08] Speaker C: Yeah. It's a beautiful place, though. [01:15:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:15:12] Speaker A: And I guess kind of. I don't know, I was gonna talk to you guys about. I don't know, just like, I'm trying to remind myself of my questions that I was gonna ask you guys. So if for couples who want to grow stronger together, let's just say physically, relationally, what's one practical thing that you would recommend they start with? I guess it's kind of like maybe a core you would tell people, and maybe it'd be at different stages in their relationship. I'm not sure. [01:15:49] Speaker C: But sleep in the same bedroom. [01:15:53] Speaker B: Sleep in the same bedroom. [01:15:55] Speaker C: Okay. [01:15:56] Speaker A: Like, she's. [01:15:57] Speaker B: What the heck? [01:15:58] Speaker C: You're probably laughing, but we've known some couples, okay. That show that they sleep in different bedrooms. [01:16:05] Speaker A: Okay. [01:16:06] Speaker C: As they've gotten older. So I say that as a joke, but in ways it's like. It's not really a joke. It's like you have to stay close, and I think that your activities with your friends should be never more than what you do with your wife. Not even close. I think you should have your. I mean, I'm probably unbalanced because I just don't like to hang out with guys that much. So. So I'm probably. Maybe it's because I grew up with three sisters. I don't know. But I. I think I'm. She has girlfriends she goes out with. Do I really go out to the pub and have beers with guys now? I just. I don't. [01:16:46] Speaker B: I mean, dirt bike riding guys. [01:16:50] Speaker C: Yes. I do have a community of a great Christian group of dirt bike rider. We go out and ride as a group and. And. And pray and uplift the Lord, and it's just. They're a great group of guys. They're. They're young. Most of them are younger, but, yeah, they're a great group. So I do have that group, and I am grateful for that because every year we're going out for maybe a half a dozen rides. Maybe some years are a little slower than others, but it still gives a little bit of sense of being able to go out. But I think you should spend more time with your spouse and don't drift apart, because I think that could be a problem. I think you start drifting apart and you're doing stuff with other people you're exposing yourself to, you know, and it's sneaky. Yes. [01:17:41] Speaker A: Like, we talked about that on the marriage podcast before with the guy, Dr. Lee Balcom, and I was like, it sounds kind of sneaky. And he's like, yes, it can't be. So you guys are right where you. Yeah, that's funny you say that because. Yeah, like, growing up, the family, adults in my house, it was very obvious they were all in the same bed, so [01:18:07] Speaker B: that's more common. But he's just. He's heard some people that are, like, older, like our age and older, and I think it's because a lot of times they're like, these guys snore. They're on CPAP machines. That, again, has to do with your health if you're not healthy, you know? And so I Can. So I know people that sleep in separate beds because they don't want to hear the machine or the snoring or whatever. [01:18:27] Speaker A: I don't know. [01:18:28] Speaker B: Yeah, but no, we pretty much do almost everything together. I mean, but I do have my. My girls nights out, which I love. Meals are fun, and he just stays home and pets the kitties and waits for me to come back. But I encourage him to do whatever he wants. And he goes snowboarding with our daughter. She skis and she lives here in Idaho, so he does that and. Yeah, but we mostly just do everything. He plans wonderful vacations for us, and we have a blast doing that and that we. He really. I feel like his hobby is planning vacations for us right now. [01:18:59] Speaker C: It has been. [01:19:00] Speaker B: It has been such a blast. [01:19:02] Speaker C: Pretty much. Well, we've done Europe, and when I first retired, went all over Europe and Ireland and we. So, Ireland, Spain, Italy, Paris. So we were in parts of France. And then this year we've done like Costa Rica. And of course, we're like anyone, any other couple. You know, multiple trips down to Cancun or Puerto Vallarta. And Costa Rica was a little different. This year. We're heading back out. We've done Hawaii multiple times. We're heading back out to Kauai because we've never been to that island. [01:19:37] Speaker A: Okay. [01:19:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:19:38] Speaker B: And then we love Hawaii. [01:19:41] Speaker C: Back to Europe. Well, back to the east coast for the fall colors. Vermont. We'll be doing that this year. [01:19:48] Speaker B: I asked him for. That was one of my bucket lists. So I. He didn't even have any interest. And I'm like, I want to go to Vermont in the fall and just see the fall. [01:19:56] Speaker A: I have a little witness, too. Too. That's cute. I have that on my list, too. [01:20:01] Speaker B: You should join us. We're going October. In October, right before our daughter gets married. Vanessa's getting married October 9th. [01:20:08] Speaker A: Okay. [01:20:08] Speaker B: So we're going right before she gets married. Coming back and watching her get married. [01:20:12] Speaker A: So congratulations. [01:20:14] Speaker B: Special. Yeah. So then he just. Yeah, he just keeps planning trips and it's so much fun and we love it. And so, yeah, I would just say for relationships, especially as you get older and you're retired and you've been married a long time, you got to keep that interest alive. Because I think when people raise kids, they get distant because they. They're everyone. You know, you're going to work, he's going to work, you're raising the kids, you're paying the bills, and then you lose that connection. And I. I think that's easy. To do. One of the things that we did when we were. When our kids were younger is we started going on date nights because. Because it was just about raising the kids, remember? And working and being exhausted, and you lose that. It's fun when you, like, you're gonna go on a date and you're like, oh, I'm gonna get dressed up and be all cute and he's gonna take me out. We're gonna have a nice dinner without kids. We started doing that. I don't know, the kids were maybe. I don't know what age it was. Like, we didn't. We didn't do it for a long time. They were babies. And then when they were like a [01:21:10] Speaker C: little bit older, they're all like, 9, 10, 11. [01:21:13] Speaker B: Oh, I feel like that really helped. [01:21:14] Speaker C: Our baby got a babysitter and we would go out and. And we still do to this day. We go out and. [01:21:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:20] Speaker C: Set a time to go out at least once a week. [01:21:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:23] Speaker C: And get dressed up and go to a nice place. But it's also keeping the marriage, like right now is having things to look forward to. Like, so I like travel. I like planning these travels. So this year is a little bit, you know, she's like, what are you doing? Like, are you gonna die next year? [01:21:39] Speaker B: This plans a lot. We have done a lot of traveling. [01:21:41] Speaker A: So, like. [01:21:42] Speaker C: Well, it's just. There is no promise of tomorrow. Yeah. I did lose my sister at a pretty. She just. It wasn't that many. She was only 71 and she was extremely healthy. [01:21:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:54] Speaker C: So that came on really quick. So I was just like, a lot of these things are eye opening to me is that none of us know how long we have our health, you know, it's by the grace of God that we're breathing by the grace of God that we don't get a disease. Like, we could be the fittest couple. No. And then next week, we're telling you, unfortunately, we got diagnosed with something. There are no guarantees and life is not fair, you know, so that's why I share with her. We're in our go. Well, our go go years. We're healthy. We don't have any commitments here. Just got a couple cats that we can leave here and put the food out for them and have someone check on them. So it's our opportunity right now to really do our travel while we're young and can still, you know what it's like to walk around Florence or takes energy and just to travel in general. Jumping on planes, catching flights, figuring out the transportation the language, you know, you bring up all these different things that it's, you know, it's not for the faint of heart, it's not for the elderly. You know, when you get into that. 75, 80 year old. Not saying it can't be done. [01:22:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:22:59] Speaker C: But. [01:23:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm still hoping I can take my mom to Paris. [01:23:03] Speaker B: Yes, she would love that. [01:23:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:23:07] Speaker C: Yeah, that would be cool. That'd be a nice trip. [01:23:11] Speaker B: Yeah, I think you should do it. [01:23:13] Speaker A: Yeah. And kind of. Would you guys. I don't know, would you say, looking at life so far, would you say what thread of discipline? Well, I feel like we kind of already went over that, actually. I guess, basically, what would you say is your definition of success? Sip shifted from your active duty years to now, as far as, you know, what challenges your discipline the most? [01:23:46] Speaker B: So. [01:23:46] Speaker C: Right. Right now. Okay, how do I gauge success? One, I gave success by still being married because I've seen the fall of so many other guys. So we're staying married. God's blessing us with our help, and we're taking our role in it, an active role in eating the right way, resting, monitoring, you know, limiting the amount of alcohol we drink, trying to do everything that we can. But I think right now we both are excited about challenging ourselves at this older age. Because when we had this discussion seven or eight years ago, we're like, how long can we keep going like this? But I know this is going to sound kind of strange, but. But we're probably both in the best shape of our life. [01:24:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I can see that. [01:24:35] Speaker C: 61. I'm 63. Like some of this stuff just for fun. I'll get my phone out and I'll Google it. I'll say, how common is it for this? And I'll either put in my lifts, my body fat percent, whatever, and it comes back and it goes, you are 0.01 of 1% of population. I'm like, cool, I'm going to keep going. So. And I haven't done it. I haven't done it for her. She always. Yeah. Because I want to get her DEXA scanned and get a. Because I recently did one and I was. It was phenomenal report. But I want to get hers done. We're going to do that in another week. [01:25:10] Speaker B: Next week, I think. [01:25:10] Speaker C: Yeah. So that's. That's a telling story. The DEXA scan is considered the gold standard of determining your. Your bone density, body fat, your visceral fat. And what was the other test drawn? You said, well, the one we're going to do is we're going to check our hormone levels also. So they, they have these tests now really let you know where you're at as far as your health. You know, it gives you a great reading on it. And the heavy lifting right now, the heavy lifting that we're doing is crucial for osteoporosis in your bone density. [01:25:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:25:46] Speaker C: So she came back a couple years ago or last year with an incredible reading and that. And she's tiny. And most tiny women are ready to snap and break because they don't have much bone mass, but hers came back really good. So I'm excited to see the DEXA scan because she has continued to lift the heavy weights into her. Into her 60s. [01:26:06] Speaker A: Okay. [01:26:07] Speaker C: So, yeah, it's kind of exciting. I think that's what we both get excited about. How much can we keep doing? How far can we keep going? How low can we get our body fat and still be healthy? You know what I mean? And still be strong? [01:26:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:26:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:26:20] Speaker C: So it's a challenge. I think we both enjoy that we do it. [01:26:23] Speaker B: And that's what's so great about being married to someone that's so similar, is that he, you know, we support each other with what we eat, with our workouts, excited about talking about what we're going to do. If you, if you had like a partner that was like, well, no, honey, I don't want to eat that. I want to have pasta tonight and garlic bread and I want to have ice cream after. That'd be hard for the partner that wasn't. Was trying to be lean and healthy. And so it's so great that we're aligned the way we are. It makes. Makes life so easy because we're the same. [01:26:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:26:53] Speaker B: So we understand each other. [01:26:55] Speaker A: It's really. [01:26:56] Speaker B: It's just a blessing for sure. [01:26:58] Speaker A: That's awesome. Yeah. And something it sounds like you guys should be proud of too. Yeah, we're proud. [01:27:04] Speaker C: And we're thankful. Super thankful. Because like I said, I. It was very eye opening when my sister came down with the liver cancer [01:27:11] Speaker B: and so healthy she was. [01:27:13] Speaker C: She wouldn't even put ketchup on french fries because that crap was processed. So she was so health oriented. And I thought she would. She was my oldest sister, but I thought she would live the longest probably. And it was kind of like a wow. It took her down fast. [01:27:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:27:32] Speaker C: So it kind of opened my eyes up, which I already knew. But when you have it happen close to you, you realize one. The Bible never tells you that life is fair. Bad things can happen to good People and good things can happen to bad people. It's just the way it is. So I try and live my life. I'm going to do my part. We're both going to do our part. But also we need to be grateful and have the gratitude to know that this could be. This could be our day today and maybe not tomorrow. [01:28:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:28:01] Speaker C: But nevertheless, we're enjoying the way we're living. I know some people would look at it and say, oh, why would you want to torture yourself like that? I never have stomach problems like I used to have when I eat ice cream and, and processed bread and some of the other stuff. My. I just feel better. So am I really damaging my. Am I really. [01:28:19] Speaker B: I don't feel like I'm being tortured either. [01:28:21] Speaker C: No, we don't. [01:28:22] Speaker B: Like I said, because. Because I figured out and I calculated all the macros to be perfect for us. We like it and it's food. We like that that's good for us. I don't feel deprived. I don't. [01:28:34] Speaker C: I just think outsiders would look at that and say, you not enjoying life. But I really feel like we are enjoying life. [01:28:40] Speaker A: I feel like you can enjoy life more because of these decisions you're making, you know? Yeah, it feels good. [01:28:49] Speaker B: It feels good when you, when you do the hard work like that and you put on a tight dress and everything looks good. I mean, that's just. I don't know about you. You don't wear dresses, but, you know, it's like it just. You just feel better about yourself and. I don't know. And, you know, you're being healthy and so. [01:29:04] Speaker A: Yes. [01:29:05] Speaker B: I don't know, it's fun. It's like a, it's like a hobby for us, for sure. [01:29:10] Speaker A: Yeah. And so can you tell everybody it's YouTube. That's where they can follow pure discipline duo and connect with you guys. And then are there any thoughts or pieces of advice you want to leave listeners on discipline, marriage, family, starting restarting a fitness journey later in life, or anything with family that you guys want to discuss? I know that we kind of touched on the adversity of loss and different things like that. And I know you knew my dad, Tony, and then you discussed losing your sister. So that's all a part of, you know, grief in life is just, you know, it hits you unexpectedly. But is there anything, you guys, any thoughts or pieces of advice for the listeners on anything you want to leave? [01:30:06] Speaker C: I, I would just say I stay. I stay centered. And the way I stay centered is I know where I'm going to go when I die. So I'm trying to live the best I can while I'm here. But I have no uncertainty where I'm going when I die. Based off, you know, the gospel and the way I've accepted my faith. So I think I know I'm at peace. I know that my wife is same like minded. We can talk about the Lord which is so such a blessing. So I think like being unequally yoked would be hard and when I say unequally yoked, having different face, different positions on the truth. Yeah, I don't believe there's several truths. I'm very strong and I believe there's one truth and it's whether we want to believe it or not. But I believe that when both couple are, are centered like that it makes for an easier marriage because like she died, not if when she dies or when I die. I know where she's at based off my faith and vice versa. Will it be super hard? Absolutely. Be atrociously hard because of how close we are and the length of our marriage. It'll be like sawing off an arm or a leg. You know, you literally are two that become joined. It's going to be super hard. But I know that is part of life though too. That's something. Hopefully it's closer together when we do pass. But I think staying centered and having my faith is the most important thing. It's gotten me through some horrendous things that I didn't really feel like discussing today, putting it out there. But there has been some horrendous things that have happened in our life and the only way we got through it was by centering on the Lord and him being gracious and point us through it. Because we also went through something else that would destroy marriage and not associated with our relationship, which is a circumstance. So that has kept us close together. So I really believe having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and coming together on that and understanding what the Bible says and what the truths are help me stay centered. When I work out for years, Sarah, I listen to uplifting information because what I believe, what I believe and I truly believe it is it's been explained to. This is you. Everybody has two wolves in their mind and the one that grows the most is the one you feed the most. [01:32:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:32:46] Speaker C: So if you feed the bad wolf a lot of, a lot of, a lot of meat, that's the one that's going to take over your life. I've also heard it described this way. Is that Your mind is a field. Whatever you plant inside, whatever your. Comes in through your eyes or your ears, is going to be planted whether you like it or not. So you need to watch what comes into your life. [01:33:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:33:07] Speaker C: Because it's going to get planted. So that's why you want to bring in the goods that the good seeds, because it'll ultimately center you and put you in the right direction. [01:33:18] Speaker A: Okay. [01:33:18] Speaker C: So. And I've been that for years. Right. Listen. So I say I train my body and I train my mind spiritually. And I think that has been huge. Like, I literally. It's been a long time, whether it's music or preaching or a podcast that's talking about life and people's struggles, because I truly believe we learn from others. There's nothing new under the sun, like it says in the book of Ecclesiastes. There's nothing new. There's just different times, different people, and a little bit different circumstances. [01:33:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:33:52] Speaker C: And I think that one, you doing your podcast, sharing people's lives in your own life with others is an opportunity for people to learn. Us sharing what we have learned is an opportunity through our YouTube channel for people to learn maybe something they weren't sure of or something they didn't think they could do. [01:34:16] Speaker A: Yes. [01:34:17] Speaker C: So I guess that's a long winded answer for you. [01:34:22] Speaker A: No, I like that. That's good stuff. Sorry, my doggies. [01:34:27] Speaker C: I thought my cat would be here, but he's. [01:34:29] Speaker B: What's your dog's name? [01:34:30] Speaker A: This is Ava. [01:34:32] Speaker B: Ava. Oh, the same one you've had for a long time, huh? [01:34:34] Speaker A: Or I had Gigi before and then this is Ava. Yeah. [01:34:40] Speaker C: Who watches. Who watches your dog when you travel? Did you. Do you take. [01:34:46] Speaker A: So my mom watched Ava. [01:34:48] Speaker C: Okay. [01:34:49] Speaker A: Like when I went to London and Scotland, my mom watched Ava. And then Gigi actually passed before I went to Italy, so I remember that now. Yeah, But. But yeah, the trout. It's the good thing about having little Chihuahuas is, you know, they. They love people sometimes. Not other dogs, but. Yeah. Yeah. [01:35:09] Speaker C: Did I. Did I catch you saying you were in Scotland also? [01:35:12] Speaker A: Yes, I went to London and Scotland in May, June of last year. [01:35:17] Speaker C: Would you recommend it for us? [01:35:19] Speaker A: Yes. [01:35:20] Speaker C: To visit? [01:35:21] Speaker A: Yes. [01:35:21] Speaker C: Okay. Because it was one that we talked about recently. [01:35:24] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, no, I definitely flying into [01:35:27] Speaker C: London, Heathrow, and then just kind of spending a few days adventuring around. [01:35:33] Speaker A: Yeah, Yeah, I would definitely say hit up Scotland. Edinburgh for sure. It's so unique. [01:35:39] Speaker C: Edinburgh. [01:35:40] Speaker A: Yes. [01:35:41] Speaker C: Yep. Okay. [01:35:42] Speaker A: And London a couple days maybe, but definitely Scotland. It's different. And if you're into a Braveheart. You're gonna love Scotland. [01:35:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:35:52] Speaker A: Okay. [01:35:53] Speaker B: Nice, Nice. [01:35:54] Speaker C: That'd be cool. [01:35:55] Speaker A: Yeah. And I kind of wanted to end on some fun quick fire questions. I call them and both of you can kind of like shout out your answers just for fun for the audience. So favorite lifter movement right now? [01:36:08] Speaker B: YouTube. You favorite lift or movement? [01:36:13] Speaker A: Like. [01:36:14] Speaker B: Yeah, shoulder presses for me. [01:36:16] Speaker A: Okay. And then [01:36:20] Speaker C: the bench press. [01:36:21] Speaker A: And best recovery tool or habit you've discovered for like recovery after waking up. [01:36:27] Speaker B: Sleep, good sleep. Yeah. [01:36:30] Speaker A: Okay. [01:36:31] Speaker C: I struggle with my sleep. I don't sleep very well. But so my best for recovery is my after workout meal, putting down a protein drink and then three eggs and a little bit of diced potatoes and that does so. [01:36:46] Speaker A: All right. And what's one non negotiable in your daily routine? [01:36:52] Speaker B: Non negotiable? [01:36:54] Speaker A: Yeah, cut it out. You know, coffee. [01:36:57] Speaker B: Coffee that is non negotiable. Coffee with a little bit of cream. [01:37:06] Speaker C: My gym time. It's non negotiable. I'm going. [01:37:08] Speaker A: Okay. And something Tony does that still makes you smile after all these years? [01:37:17] Speaker C: She's my biggest cheerleader. Oh, very encouraging. [01:37:21] Speaker A: She is. I love every time I talk to her, she has a light of like a verse. [01:37:28] Speaker C: People. People love her. So I'm blessed that I have her all to myself most of the time. [01:37:37] Speaker A: And what is your guys's like song or type of music that gets you locked in for a heavy session, like lift session? What pumps you up? What's yours? [01:37:46] Speaker B: I think we're a little different on our music. Like that is something we differ. I like like old, like R B and like 80s R B. He does listen to it with. And he's learned some of the songs. He sings them sometimes, but he. He likes more. Well, what do you like now? [01:38:04] Speaker C: I. I'll rotate. It's crazy. I don't need any. I know this sounds weird. I don't need any type of music to get me going. I. I test myself all the time. So I would say I listen to. Just like I explained earlier, it could be Christian music. Recently I've been listening to some other warrior type. It's called iron faith music. [01:38:30] Speaker A: Okay. [01:38:31] Speaker C: Iron faith. It's kind of like a. [01:38:33] Speaker A: Okay. [01:38:33] Speaker C: Yeah. So that's something recently. [01:38:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:38:37] Speaker C: It's called iron faith for working out. It's like on YouTube music. [01:38:41] Speaker B: It's pretty neat. [01:38:42] Speaker A: So. [01:38:43] Speaker C: So it'll talk about the Bible, but it'll talk about like, you know, you shouldn't quit and when has God ever left you down? And it has music to it basically a motivating. I don't feel like, need to be motivated, but sometimes it's just fun to listen to. And I'm still getting the word reinforced. I'm a big believer in training, like, utilizing my time. [01:39:01] Speaker A: Okay. Awesome. All right, you guys, this is amazing, and I know you guys gave so much amazing information for everybody. Is there anything else you guys just want to add before we close anything? [01:39:15] Speaker C: No. You did a great job and great questions and fun. [01:39:19] Speaker A: Thank you. [01:39:20] Speaker B: We are honored that you asked us to be here, and absolutely you thought that we were worth listening to, so thank you for that. We really appreciate your faith in us and hope that we can help others and just be a light. [01:39:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:39:33] Speaker B: For others. Yeah. [01:39:35] Speaker A: All right, well, okay, everybody. So pure discipline duo on YouTube. Go follow them, please. And of course, Dr. Random podcast. Follow on Spotify, YouTube, YouTube, Apple, and Instagram. All right, so, as always, before we leave, the Dr. Random podcast. Okay, Rich and Toni Soto, we're gonna say ciao.